Blood on the Motorway


In the past four decades, 459 deaths and 41 attempted homicides are believed to be linked to serial killers who are using the nation's highways to find and dispose of their victims.

A passerby found the severed head on Feb. 10, wrapped in two plastic bags and stuffed inside a backpack in Barstow, Calif. Authorities still haven't identified the victim or her killer, but the circumstances point in a particular direction.

The teenage girl likely had been killed days earlier, Barstow police say. Her head lay a few hundred yards from a truck stop just off Interstate 15, not far from I-40. To authorities, the proximity to the truck stop and the interstates suggests that the slaying might have been the work of a distinctive type of criminal: a serial killer operating along the nation's highways.

During the past four decades, at least 459 people may have died at the hands of highway serial killers, FBI statistics show. Investigators do not know how many people may be responsible for the killings but at least one such case — of murder, attempted murder or unidentified human remains — has been reported in 48 states, along roads as far north as Alaska and as far south as Key West. They believe the killers find their victims and dispose of the bodies along highways, sometimes near quiet roadside rest areas or at bustling truck stops.

Often, the victims are prostitutes, abducted in one state and dumped in another. And the killers? Authorities say they have 200 suspects; almost all are long-haul truck drivers. To date, the FBI says it has helped local authorities arrest at least 10 suspects believed to be involved in more than 30 of the killings.

That still appears to leave hundreds of killings unsolved, and the cases continue to mount. Not every killing along the nation's roadways is related, but since the FBI went public with the Highway Serial Killings initiative last year, local authorities have been sending information about unsolved slayings that fit the profile to FBI analysts.

Their hope: that the analysts can offer leads or find connections to other killings that may have happened years ago or several states away. Some of the killings recently added to the Highway Serial Killings database date back several years. Others, such as the one in Barstow, are relatively new.

"We seem to have one a week that comes in," says Michael Harrigan, the special agent who oversaw the FBI's effort for the past three years. "It could be a killing that's 30 years old. It could be one that happened a week ago." Whether the oldest and coldest cases can be solved, Harrigan is uncertain. But he's hopeful.

Harrigan and other law enforcement authorities believe serial killers still operate along some of the most well-traveled roads in the nation.

"They're out there," he says.

Even so, the FBI won't divulge the names of the victims, the dates the victims were abducted or discovered, even the locations where the killers either found their victims or dumped the bodies — places motorists might wish to avoid.

Despite President Obama's pledge of a more transparent government, Harrigan says the bureau is bound by its promise to local law enforcement not to disclose any details of the slayings — even basic information that is public record. The FBI makes such a promise so that local agencies will share details of the crimes with the bureau, Harrigan says.

Through a Freedom of Information Act request filed this year, I sought those details. "Many families drive from state to state and need accurate information to determine where they should and should not stop," I wrote.

The FBI denied the request, even though the bureau had posted on its website a small image of a U.S. map last year that shows the general location of many of the highway slayings.

Harrigan says a typical motorist isn't in danger. At least 234 victims were prostitutes, he says, and stranded motorists represent "a very, very small" number of the homicide cases. But Harrigan will not say how many, and he acknowledges that investigators know "nothing" about 130 of the victims. Among the mysteries are more than 80 cases — including the February case in Barstow — in which authorities couldn't identify the remains or recovered only body parts.

"It's creepy," says Keith Libby, the police detective in Barstow, Calif., who is handling the severed-head case. Libby says the victim appears to have been white or Hispanic, and police have released an image of how they think the victim looked. Beyond that, Libby says, investigators are hoping for help — from the public and from the FBI.

"We have nothing," he says. "Nothing."

A dangerous subculture

Although the FBI launched the serial killer initiative in 2004, violence along the nation's highways is hardly new. Stopping crime at the thousands of rest areas, truck stops and travel plazas, however, remains difficult. In part, that's because the responsibility for policing rest areas varies from state to state. That often means no consistent records are kept about the rate of crimes, and no single agency takes ownership for fighting it.

But crimes also are difficult to stop because of the location of the rest areas — along major roadways. That makes getting away easy; just jump onto an interstate and speed off. At some locations, private security guards try to keep watch or police cruise through. Elsewhere, cameras monitor the area. Neither of those approaches offer any guarantees.

Sometimes, the crimes at these stops along the highways are orchestrated by sophisticated criminals. Some deal drugs. Others sell sex. And, like weary travelers, other dangerous criminals might use rest areas for the purpose for which they were intended: to rest. The Beltway Snipers, who terrorized the Washington, D.C., area for weeks in 2002, were caught after they pulled into a rest area to sleep. (Whether the snipers, John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo, are suspects in any of the highway killing cases is unclear. Muhammad was executed last year; Malvo remains in prison.)

What makes crime at rest areas and truck stops unique and especially troubling is that it occurs in spots intended to be oases for travelers — places where motorists expect to be able to relax and unwind, grab a meal and use the toilet.

"It used to be the place to go. It used to be the safe haven," says Sgt. Pat Postiglione, a detective with the Metro Nashville (Tenn.) Police Department. "But now, I think the opposite is occurring."

That's not the case everywhere, says Lisa Mullings, president of NATSO, a trade group that represents the truck stop and travel plaza industry. Mullings says most of the areas remain "probably one of the safest places to stop. There's always people."

Indeed, some truck stops have become more like bustling neighborhoods — for better or worse.

"It's kind of like when you live in the big city," says Frank Silio, a long-haul trucker since 1990. "You want to make sure you look at the quality of the people there. Are they paying too much attention to you?"

At many truck stops, the area for cars is separate from the area for semi-trailer trucks. The worlds are just as distinct, especially after sundown. On the trucking side, prostitutes might wander from cab to cab, looking for business.

"It is dangerous," says Vednita Carter, the executive director of Breaking Free, a Minnesota-based group that helps women escape prostitution. "They're having sex with them in the trucks." The truckers "might drive off and say, 'Well we can't stay here,' and they'll never come back."

Truckers even have names for the truck-stop prostitutes: lot lizards or fender lizards. "Those are the terms we hear all the time. But you only hear it there," Postiglione says.

"It's almost like a subculture, to be honest with you," Postiglione says. "You've got the family going to Myrtle Beach on one side, and you have the shady-looking truckers on the other. ... You have a lot of good truckers out there," Postiglione quickly adds, but "you have other truckers who go to these truck stops and get drugs or prostitutes."

Postiglione has good reason to think as he does. On June 26, 2007, the body of Sara Nicole Hulbert was found at a Nashville truck stop off I-24. Hulbert, 25, had been shot. Her killer also had used black electrical tape to fasten a plastic bag over her head. Postiglione contacted the FBI to tell analysts about that case and another similar killing in Lebanon, Tenn. He had little to go on except some surveillance tape of trucks coming and going from the Nashville truck stop around the time of the killing.

On July 12, 2007, Postiglione was near the truck stop when he noticed a semi that "seemed familiar." He followed it to the truck stop where Hulbert's body had been found and questioned the driver. When he looked inside the cab, he noticed a garbage bag. Inside was bloody clothing. The blood, he recalls, was fresh. The clothes, however, didn't belong to Hulbert.

Authorities now believe they belonged to another woman, Carma Purpura, who had disappeared the night before at a truck stop in Indianapolis. "There were items of female clothing ... that came back with Ms. Purpura's DNA," says Denise Robinson, a prosecutor in Marion County, Ind.

The trucker, Bruce Mendenhall, 56, was convicted in May in the Hulbert killing. He's likely to stand trial for at least three similar killings, including the slayings in Lebanon and Indianapolis. Postiglione believes other unsolved cases also might lead to Mendenhall.

"He's 56 and just starts killing people at 56?" Postiglione says, incredulous. "I have to believe that he may have been killing over the years but changed his methods. There's probably another victim or two out there that we're not linking yet."

Timelines are key

That search for connections between crimes is where the FBI effort has proved useful. Analysts continue to develop timelines for each of the 200 suspects, trying to determine whether their whereabouts match any of the unsolved killings.

Technology has made that effort easier — at least in terms of the most recent killings and any possible connections to truckers. Many truck companies, for instance, track their drivers using GPS. And when a trucker uses a toll road, systems such as E-ZPass log it. Credit card records and surveillance tapes also help pinpoint who used the truck stop around the time when a prostitute there vanished.

The timelines are "tedious," FBI agent Harrigan says. "We want to look back and try to figure out, were there any other killings where they were?"

Harrigan says analysts might hear about five cases a week. They seem to fit the profile, but further investigation shows a serial killer isn't to blame. No matter, Harrigan says getting information from local law enforcement is critical. Already, the FBI has heard from law enforcement in 340 jurisdictions. Even if some of those cases turn out to be unrelated to the serial killer inquiries, others do, and those that do might be key in solving slayings hundreds of miles apart, Harrigan says.

The FBI and other law enforcement authorities also are careful not to condemn truckers as a whole. "We don't view this as some sort of indictment of the industry," Harrigan says.

As Norita Taylor, a spokesman for a trucking trade group says, millions of truckers are on the roads each day. Even if all of the highway serial killers happen to be truckers, that's still a tiny minority of the profession, says Taylor, spokesman for the Owner-Operator Independent Drivers Association.

Trucker Silio hopes motorists won't stereotype. "Not all people riding motorcycles are bad people, either," he says. Others, including Nashville detective Postiglione, wonder whether the trucking profession might be a draw for someone "predisposed to become a serial killer."

With help from the FBI, David Campbell, a detective with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Office, was able to link trucker Eugene Upshaw to a year-old sexual assault near a truck stop in Castaic, Calif. In late August, authorities arrested Upshaw near Rochester, N.Y. He stands accused of beating and raping a woman and is "a person of interest in similar sexual assaults," Campbell says.

"What a perfect manner if that's what you're into," Campbell says. "What better way to mask your wrongdoings than by going from state to state doing a legitimate job?"

Angelina Valentina


She-devil

And she was ghetto

As dirty as the bottom of her high-heeled stilettos

I couldn't believe that she got as far as she got

Like fresh food, gone rotten

Angelina Valentina

A bad girl, A trick

A lover, A fighter

A cold-hearted bitch

Running through the times, leave this shit behind

She wasn't even fine, she was average

But everybody loved the way her titties and her assets

She was the classic hoe that you love to hate

Maybe that you love to date

That can make a man break

Get in close and then flip like a pancake

She told lies the same ones told to her

She was out to get everything she thought was owed to her

And if you show to her any sign of weakness,

She'll stab you in your back and leave you speechless

Angelina Valentina

She just decided that she'd fuck her way to the top

Not a bad idea for a girl who got what she got

But not just the body, the brains

Raw steel, sex appeal, it's all the same

She had a way of spitting game better than most dudes

But as soon as you get close to her heart then you're old news

That's how she rose through

A thorn on a rose who had horns on her head

And did exactly what the hoes do

She was up for sale

Not afraid to go to jail

Going through her man's mail, looking through his handheld

You could tell she was a filthy young hooker

Her mind state was crooked that's why everybody shook her

But that's why everybody loved and respected her

Daddy neglected her mama rejected her

So she lived by the code on the street

Man to man, plan to plan

Her life was cheap

Wicked foul, poisonous vixen

Black widow, little girl, who's your next victim?

Madam redemption, sexual tension

Heaven in between the walls of the fifth dimension

Voodoo woman, who do you love?

Besides your own bullshit, what are you thinking of?

Other than the surface, shallow end of the pool

Now who's the stupid fool,

Her or the one she trapped?

Long walk to the top stepping on people's backs

Angelina Valentina, she doesn't know how to act

There she comes, there she goes, I can't believe she did that

One man's queen is one man's slut

And one girl's dream is blind and twisted up

She never really knew her own purpose in life

Part-time hoe part-time wife

Angelina Valentina

My dream job.

That is all.

QUESTIONABLE CALL

[Update: Monday, July 21 -- I.R Iran's final Revue game vs. Utah Jazz was webcast on NBA.com. You can watch it here. Thanks for your support.]

Saturday, July 19 -- The Rocky Mountain Revue each year features up-and-coming basketball players in summer league competition. This year's Revue includes several NBA teams, an NBADL select team, and the Iranian National Team. So, the natural question is: Who dropped the ball on that one? Amidst the Bush administration's lengthy political wrestling match with Tehran, how did the NBA get away with inviting Iran's team to play summer league ball?

The answer is surprisingly simple. The Revue had a standing commitment to FIBA to include the Asia Continental Champion, which everyone expected would be China. Without superstar center Yao Ming, the Chinese team failed to advance, and Iran went on to defeat Lebanon in the championship. Iran? They haven't been competitive in basketball for more than 30 years.

So, the NBA, desperately needing some positive publicity (and with approval from the U.S. State Department), invited Iran to participate. And the Iranians, perhaps thinking it was all a joke, accepted. So, after more than a year of nuclear fear-mongering by the American media portraying Iran as our most imminent and dangerous enemy, we invited them to come over and play some pickup games? Brilliant!

Fast-forward to today, as the Iranians faced the Dallas Mavericks' summer league team in competition. If you have never been to Salt Lake City in July, it's 130 degrees, and there's not much going on other than the Revue. Also, it's not the most colorful town. And by that I mean it's mostly white folks out there in the desert. Usually.

But not today. Today the sand-colored crowd packed the gym at Salt Lake Community College to support Team Iran. They came from California, Florida, New York and Canada. They showed up two hours early with flags and banners and tambourines and cheered and chanted and sang until the very end. The Iranian team lost, but you wouldn't know it unless you were looking at the scoreboard. And I wasn't.

I was looking at the screen of my laptop, trying to find the webcast of the game through the Revue's website. Alas, I was later informed that the games would be neither webcast nor televised. I was suprised, since all of the NBA summer league games from Las Vegas were made viewable online, I assumed the Revue would be also. Certainly this tournament featuring the Iranian team on the soil of the Great Satan merits a webcast at the very least.

Then I began to notice a pattern. Revue officials did nowhere mention that Iran was participating in the tournament until opening day--all event programming listed the Iranian team as "FIBA Asian Champion." If you weren't a regular fan of Team Iran, there was no word of their participation until just a few days before the tournament. And finally, the passionate pro-Iran crowd was denied witness by national audiences, or any audiences for that matter. Why?

Why invite Iran to participate, go through the trouble of arranging the media circus and maximizing the public relations opportunities when nobody outside of the SLCC gym will be able to watch the game? If this was in fact the bold offering of goodwill that the U.S. State Department claims it to be, why back off now? So far, nobody is offering any simple explanations. The Utah Jazz, which organize and manage the Revue, offered their official statement on the matter as "No comment."

To me personally, it seems that perhaps someone didn't want the nation to see its Iranian-Americans waving Iranian flags and chanting in Farsi from the Mormon heartland. Perhaps that same someone wants us to believe that Iranians are some distant, foreign enemy, and not our neighbors or pickup-game teammates. And, as Americans, perhaps we should ask why that is.

During the course of certain events, there are moments, however fleeting or seemingly insignificant, that ultimately transcend our shared humanity. Journalists have often reflected on the the role that sports play in helping conflicted people resolve their differences. In 2006, a civil war in the Ivory Coast was put on hold to allow the embattled nation's soccer team to qualify for the World Cup. I can't help but feel that if any sport does indeed wield such tremendous influence, that influence is being egregiously wasted.

Today, I watched players representing my hometown exchange gifts and hugs with players representing my homeland. Today, I witnessed two nations with a long and storied history of polar ideologies put their differences aside, and not for some grand design, but for a simple basketball game. It makes me want to believe that anything might be possible. Well, maybe anything except watching the game on TV.

Creativity + Technology = ???

Sometimes an equation can sum up to ... music!



Nude aka Big Ideas (Don't Get Any) -- by Radiohead.

Performed by defunct electronics equipment.

"A lot of times in politics you have people look you in the eye and tell you what's not on their mind."—Sochi, Russia, April 6, 2008

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." —Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

"Oftentimes people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'" —Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008

"Take the Middle East seriously because that's the center of—that's the place where people get so despondent and despair that they're willing to come and take lives of U.S. citizens."—on advice he would give the next president, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OBGYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."—Poplar Bluff, Missouri, September 6, 2004

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."—Washington D.C., May 23, 2004

"I welcome you all to say a few comments to the TV, if you care to do so."—Washington D.C., December 7, 2007

"If you've got somebody in harm's way, you want the president being ... making advice, not ... be given advice by the military, and not making decisions based upon the latest Gallup poll or focus group."—New Albany, Ind., November 13, 2007

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."—Washington D.C., August 5, 2004

"They misunderestimated me."—Washington D.C., November 6, 2000

"I'm oftentimes asked, What difference does it make to America if people are dying of malaria in a place like Ghana? It means a lot. It means a lot morally, it means a lot from a—it's in our national interest."—Accra, Ghana, Feb. 20, 2008

"And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those that are trying to defeat us in Iraq."—Washington D.C., March 3, 2008

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."—Lacrosse, Wisc., October 18, 2000

"I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft."—St. Louis, Missouri, October 8, 2004

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."—Saginaw, Mich., September 29, 2000

"And so the fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there's jobs at the machine-making place." —Mesa, Arizona, May 27, 2008

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal." —Washington, D.C., May 13, 2008

"There's an old saying in Tennessee ... I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says, fool me once, shame on ... shame on you. Fool me twice ... you can't get fooled again."—Nashville, Tenn., September 17, 2002

"How can you possibly have an international agreement that's effective unless countries like China and India are not full participants?" —Camp David, April 19, 2008"

We want people owning their home — we want people owning a businesses." —Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008

"So long as I'm the president, my measure of success is victory — and success." —on Iraq, Washington, D.C., April 17, 2008

"Thank you, your Holiness. Awesome speech." —to Pope Benedict, Washington, D.C., April 15, 2008

"A lot of times in politics you have people look you in the eye and tell you what's not on their mind." —Sochi, Russia, April 6, 2008

"Afghanistan is the most daring and ambition mission in the history of NATO." —Bucharest, Romania, April 2, 2008

"Soldiers, sailors, Marines, airmen, and Coastmen — Coast Guardmen, thanks for coming, thanks for wearing the uniform." —at the Pentagon, March 19, 2008

"I thank the diplomatic corps, who is here as well." —Washington, D.C., March 12, 2008

"Removing Saddam Hussein was the right decision early in my presidency, it is the right decision now, and it will be the right decision ever." —Washington, D.C., March 12, 2008

"Let me start off by saying that in 2000 I said, 'Vote for me. I'm an agent of change.' In 2004, I said, 'I'm not interested in change —I want to continue as president.' Every candidate has got to say 'change.' That's what the American people expect." —Washington, D.C., March 5, 2008

"And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq." —to Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? ... That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." —Washington, D.C., Feb. 28, 2008

"I'm oftentimes asked, What difference does it make to America if people are dying of malaria in a place like Ghana? It means a lot. It means a lot morally, it means a lot from a — it's in our national interest." —Accra, Ghana, Feb. 20, 2008

"There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world." —addressing U.S. troops at Camp Arifjan in Kuwait, Jan. 12, 2008

"I can press when there needs to be pressed; I can hold hands when there needs to be — hold hands." —on how he can contribute to the Middle East peace process, Washington, D.C., Jan. 4, 2008

"In the State of the Union a couple of years ago, I addressed the issue of steroids, and the reason I did so is because I understand the impact that professional athletes can have on our nation's youth. And I just urge our — those in the public spotlight, particularly athletes, to understand that when they violate their bodies, they're sending a terrible signal to America's young." —on the baseball steroids scandal, Dec. 14, 2007

"The decisions we make in Washington have a direct impact on the people in our country, obviously." —New Albany, Ind., Nov. 13, 2007

"In other words, he was given an option: Are you with us or are you not with us? And he made a clear decision to be with us, and he's acted on that advice." —on President Pervez Musharraf, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 10, 2007

"We're going to — we'll be sending a person on the ground there pretty soon to help implement the malaria initiative, and that initiative will mean spreading nets and insecticides throughout the country so that we can see a reduction in death of young children that — a death that we can cure." —Washington, D.C., Oct. 18, 2007

"All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone." —San Diego, Calif., Oct. 25, 2007

"I fully understand those who say you can't win this thing militarily. That's exactly what the United States military says, that you can't win this military." —on the need for political progress in Iraq, Washington, D.C., Oct. 17, 2007

"My job is a decision-making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions." —The Decider, Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007

"I got a lot of Ph.D.-types and smart people around me who come into the Oval Office and say, 'Mr. President, here's what's on my mind.' And I listen carefully to their advice. But having gathered the device, I decide, you know, I say, 'This is what we're going to do.'" —Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007

"You know, when you give a man more money in his pocket — in this case, a woman more money in her pocket to expand a business, it — they build new buildings. And when somebody builds a new building somebody has got to come and build the building. And when the building expanded it prevented additional opportunities for people to work." —Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007

"As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured." —on the No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2007

"We're also talking to different finance ministers about how we can send a message to the Iranian government that the free world is not going to tolerate the development of know-how in how to build a weapon, or at least gain the ability to make a weapon." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007

"All of us in America want there to be fairness when it comes to justice." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007

"I heard somebody say, 'Where's (Nelson) Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas." —on the former South African president, who is still very much alive, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007

"Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction. Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit." —addressing Australian Prime Minister John Howard at the APEC Summit, Sept. 7, 207

"As John Howard accurately noted when he went to thank the Austrian troops there last year..." —referring to Australian troops as "Austrian troops," APEC Business Summit, Sept. 7, 2007

"We're kicking ass." —on the security situation in Iraq, to Australian Deputy Prime Minister Mark Vaile, Sydney, Australia, Sept. 5, 2007

"I've got God's shoulder to cry on. And I cry a lot. I do a lot of crying in this job. I'll bet I've shed more tears than you can count, as president." —as quoted by author Robert Draper in Dead Certain

"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th." —Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007

"I'm going to try to see if I can remember as much to make it sound like I'm smart on the subject." —answering a question about a possible flu pandemic, Cleveland, July 10, 2007

"You know, I guess I'm like any other political figure: Everybody wants to be loved." —Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007

"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way." —Martinsburg, W. Va., July 4, 2007

"I've heard he's been called Bush's poodle. He's bigger than that." —on former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, as quoted by the Sun newspaper, June 27, 2007

"Amnesty means that you've got to pay a price for having been here illegally, and this bill does that." —on the immigration reform bill, Washington, D.C., June 26, 2007

"This process has been drug out a long time, which says to me it's political." —discussing the controversy surrounding Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez, Sofia, Bulgaria, June 11, 2007

"These are big achievements for this country, and the people of Bulgaria ought to be proud of the achievements that they have achieved." —Sofia, Bulgaria, June 11, 2007

"Bush goes to Hel. That's what a lot of people want." —on his visit to the Hel Peninsula, Gdansk, Poland, Jun. 8, 2007

"There's a lot of blowhards in the political process, you know, a lot of hot-air artists, people who have got something fancy to say." —Washington, D.C., May 17, 2007

"My relationship with this good man is where I've been focused, and that's where my concentration is. And I don't regret any other aspect of it. And so I — we filled a lot of space together." —on British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Washington, D.C., May 17, 2007

"What I'm telling you is there's too many junk lawsuits suing too many doctors." —Washington, D.C., May 10, 2007

"You helped our nation celebrate its bicentennial in 17 — 1976." —to Queen Elizabeth, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2007

"I'm honored to be here with the eternal general of the United States, mi amigo Alberto Gonzales." —Washington, D.C., May 4, 2007

"Information is moving — you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets." —Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007

"The question is, who ought to make that decision? The Congress or the commanders? And as you know, my position is clear — I'm a commander guy." —who apparently is no longer "The Decider," Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007

"Wisdom and strength, and my family, is what I'd like for you to pray for." —Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007

"Either we'll succeed, or we won't succeed. And the definition of success as I described is sectarian violence down. Success is not no violence." —on Iraq, Washington, D.C., May 2, 2007

"And so, what Gen. Petraeus is saying, some early signs, still dangerous, but give me — give my chance a plan to work." —in an interview with Charlie Rose, April 24, 2007

"There are jobs Americans aren't doing. ... If you've got a chicken factory, a chicken-plucking factory, or whatever you call them, you know what I'm talking about." —George W. Bush. Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"There are some similarities, of course (between Iraq and Vietnam). Death is terrible." —Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"I've been in politics long enough to know that polls just go poof at times." —Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"My job is a job to make decisions. I'm a decision — if the job description were, what do you do — it's decision maker." —Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"Politics comes and goes, but your principles don't. And everybody wants to be loved — not everybody. ... You never heard anybody say, 'I want to be despised, I'm running for office.'" —Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"I said to her, make sure the rug says 'optimistic person comes to work.'" —on his instructions to First Lady Laura Bush in choosing a rug for the Oval Office, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"One of my concerns is that the health care not be as good as it can possibly be." —on military benefits, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"Forms of government matter, in my opinion. It matters how — the nature of the government in which people live." —Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"My attitude is, if they're still writing about (number) one, 43 doesn't need to worry about it." —on his legacy, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"A good marriage is really good after serving together in Washington, D.C." —Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"The best thing about my family is my wife. She is a great first lady. I know that sounds not very objective, but that's how I feel. And she's also patient. Putting up with me requires a lot of patience." —Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

"Iraq is a very important part of securing the homeland, and it's a very important part of helping change the Middle East into a part of the world that will not serve as a threat to the civilized world, to people like — or to the developed world, to people like — in the United States." —Washington, D.C., April 3, 2007

"Suiciders are willing to kill innocent life in order to send the projection that this is an impossible mission." —George W. Busy, Washington, D.C., April 3, 2007

"And my concern, David, is several." —to NBC's David Gregory, Washington, D.C., April 3, 2007

"The solution to Iraq — an Iraq that can govern itself, sustain itself and defend itself — is more than a military mission. Precisely the reason why I sent more troops into Baghdad." —Washington, D.C., April 3, 2007

"That's why we are inconveniencing air traffickers, to make sure nobody is carrying weapons on airplanes." —Washington, D.C., April 3, 2007

"Some call this civil war; others call it emergency — I call it pure evil." —Washington, D.C., March 28, 2007

"I'm a strong proponent of the restoration of the wetlands, for a lot of reasons. There's a practical reason, though, when it comes to hurricanes: The stronger the wetlands, the more likely the damage of the hurricane." —New Orleans, March 1, 2007

"And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it." —interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

"I think that the vice president is a person reflecting a half-glass-full mentality." —interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

"And one thing we want during this war on terror is for people to feel like their life's moving on, that they're able to make a living and send their kids to college and put more money on the table." —interview on the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, Jan. 16, 2007

"The best way to defeat the totalitarian of hate is with an ideology of hope — an ideology of hate — excuse me —with an ideology of hope." —Fort Benning, Ga., Jan. 11, 2007

"I don't particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it." —Crawford, Texas, Nov. 10, 2007

Silicon Valley Fight Clubs

This story is chock-full of postmodern masculine-ideological subtext. And self-loathing.

"The war is waged by each ruling group against its own subjects, and the object of war is not to make or prevent conquests of territory, but to keep the structure of society intact. The very word 'war,' therefore, has become misleading. It would probably be accurate to say that by becoming continuous war has ceased to exist." ~ George Orwell, 1984.

More Than Meets The Eye

Next time that your cd drive refuses to eject a disc, or your phone mysteriously loses power, it may really be the first step toward the human-robot war. Today is the launch date for the Symbrion project, a $9.3-million venture funded by the European Union to create "Symbiotic Evolutionary Robot Organisms." Robots that communicate, cooperate, adapt and, essentially, think.


Okay, Symbrion isn't exactly building Optimus Prime quite yet. The concept involves mass-producing small robots, each roughly the size of a sugar cube. The robots would then join together to form a larger robot, a phenomenon scientists have cheerfully dubbed, "swarming." The swarm could hypothetically take the shape of anything, from a bridge to a wheel to a giant spider. Each robot in the swarm would function independently, but also be able to perform specific functions to benefit the whole.

Researchers envision deploying the robots in disaster areas, such as mine or building collapses, to look for survivors. Prof. Alan Winfield, a Symbrion researcher from the University of West England, described "Dropping hundreds of these small robots into a crevice after a building has collapsed. They would find each other and maybe connect together to form a snake-shaped object that could wriggle through the wreckage."

When joined, the robots share energy and computing power and create a more versatile organism. Each robot will be programmed with software to allow it to configure and optimize its own performance, and effectively heal itself if damaged. Winfield compared the concept to a sponge or jelly fish colony, "In a sponge, even if there is damage to some parts, the overall organism still survives."

So basically, the wet dream of every Transformers fan is finally coming to fruition. To be honest, the $9.3 million budget seems quite modest in respect to the possibilities that the project offers. It might not be artificial intelligence, but how long until a self-programming, self-adapting, self-replicating, self-healing robot becomes self aware?


Military robots have been in use for some time now, and commercial robots are gaining acceptance, but the idea of a swarm of unstoppable robotic spiders and snakes is not appealing to me.

Technology has empowered us with the ability to do amazing and once-unimaginable things, but we still need to question the practical wisdom of endeavors that displace the basic element of humanity and approach the apocalyptic science fiction of Hollywood. Hopefully, the brain trust behind Symbrion will remember that there are some tasks robots were not meant to perform.

The Symbrion project is currently recruiting Ph.D.s to conduct bioinformatics, evolutionary biology and genomics research. The project abstract, written by Prof. Paul Levi of the University of Stuttgart, Germany, is available here.

ME: If It's All About You, You're in Trouble.

Broad pronouncement of the week: We are entitled brats.

For immediate proof, turn on the television. Locate a reality show on Bravo or MTV. The "Real Housewives of Orange County" and their real children are halfway through a marathon of placating and whining. "The Hills" and "Newport Harbor" are stocked with people who expect to be treated with a disproportionate amount of respect, lest they erupt in a raging meltdown.

We watch these shows in horror, with a judgmental eye on their cast members, but how different are we from them? In real life, we want what we want and we want it now. No delay. No aggravation. No hassle, pain-free, our way, right away. We're a highly technical society in a land of plenty. We place a premium on efficiency and convenience. Tiny annoyances and inconveniences foul our moods and affect our behaviors. Why? And how can we get past these trivialities?

Consider this paradox: Things are becoming more instantaneous in an era when delays are rampant and increasing. There are faster flights and cars but more people in airplanes and on the roads.

What has happened, even though companies are improving service, is that "customer expectations are continuing to rise," says Roger Nunley, managing director of the Customer Care Institute in Atlanta. This can be attributed to "consumers doing business online, where they get instant gratification and quick turnarounds. That's quickly becoming the standard expectation."

Change in expectations is a generational thing, experts say. People who grew up during the Depression were happy to have a job and stuck with one for a lifetime. Many members of generations X and Y were raised in a different light. They expect a buffet of opportunities and are peeved when they don't materialize.

Narcissism and entitlement among college students have increased steadily since 1979, according to a study to be published this year in the Journal of Personality. Between that year and 2006, 16,000 college students were asked to pick between such paired statements as "I expect a great deal from other people" and "I like to do things for other people," and "I will never be satisfied until I get all that I deserve" and "I will take my satisfactions as they come."

The data are clear: The ascent of narcissism and entitlement is dramatic.

"What we really have is a culture that has increasingly emphasized feeling good about yourself and favoring the individual over the group," says the study's co-author, Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University. "And that has happened across the board, culturally, and it's showing no signs of slowing down."

To complement her research, Twenge offers evidence from the field: "I have a 14-month-old daughter, and the clothing available to her has 'little princess,' or 'I'm the boss,' or 'spoiled rotten' written on it. This is what we're dressing our babies in."

Schools have programs designed to boost self-esteem. Parents say things like, "You shouldn't care what other people think of you." We're inundated with the notions of "feeling special," "believing in yourself" and "be anything you want to be." Twenge ponders all these messages in her book "Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled -- and More Miserable Than Ever Before" (Free Press, 2006).

Quite a title, but doesn't it feel kind of right? Twenge also coins the term "iGeneration" ("i" as in both iPod and "me, me, me"), which includes those of us born in the general range of 1981 to 1999.

This goes beyond social conditioning and technology, though. Entitlement is something that's part of human narcissism. It's an ego thing that transcends generations. When something goes wrong for others, it's their fault. When something goes wrong for us, it's not ours; it's the fault of external forces. We project blame.

This projection often antagonizes a situation. Feeling entitled to something you aren't getting leads to frustration, which leads to bratty behavior and confrontation. Nearly 80 percent of Americans say rudeness -- particularly behind the wheel, on cellphones and in customer service -- should be regarded as a serious national problem, according to a study by the opinion research firm Public Agenda.

An airport is a petri dish for rude behavior: a bunch of people in close quarters under time constraints. Stress and impatience lay down the welcome mat for brattiness.

"You have people screaming at customer representatives at airports because it's snowing out -- as if they're entitled to have a sunny day," says professor W. Keith Campbell, who specializes in the study of narcissism at the University of Georgia. "That's where it gets out of hand. With entitlement, the issue is, yeah, there are certain times where we're entitled and other times we're not. The problem is when we have that meter wrong."

It's unreasonable to spend an hour on hold, in other words, but there are situations when basic entitlement turns into self-infatuation and blatant disrespect for others. All of this is tied to the feeling of not being satisfied, of thinking that some force is blocking the way to a goal we think we deserve.

"The question is, 'What the heck is enough?' " says writer and psychologist Carl Pickhardt, who specializes in parenting and child development in his private practice in Austin. "I see that all the time. A couple comes in for marriage counseling, and they ask me, 'Are we happy enough?' Somebody's at a job they like, but are they successful enough? People have to make that choice. We are a dissatisfaction market society. Advertising constantly creates the notion that whatever we have is not enough. We can declare independence of that."

But how? It's about realigning our expectations and then squelching the nagging voice in our minds that propels our discontent. Pennsylvania psychologist Pauline Wallin calls this voice our "inner brat," which is an evil twin to our "inner child." After years of counseling clients who routinely made mountains out of molehills, Wallin dived into the concept, named it and produced the book "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-Defeating Behavior" (Wildcat Canyon Press, 2004).

"We have enough big things to be upset about, and people are losing their minds over small things," she says. "Frustration leads to aggression. If you don't let yourself get frustrated in the first place, then you don't get so angry and you don't blow things out of proportion."

Stress also fuels bratty behavior. It makes us impatient and irritable from the get-go. Psychologist Ronald Nathan of Albany, N.Y., recommends practicing relaxation techniques when waiting for such things as the Metro, the doctor or tech support. This turns a disadvantage (the frustration of waiting) into an advantage (making good use of that time to relax).

"Whether you are tempted to interrupt someone or are trying to get around a slow car -- when you're under stress you tend to react rather than respond," says Nathan, who specializes in stress. "Look at what you're telling yourself about your world and how you are interpreting it. We sometimes interpret the world as a set of 'shoulds,' 'oughts,' 'have to's,' 'musts,' 'deserves.' Those are exaggerations. It's a very competitive world we live in, so we easily get frustrated."

Nathan has trademarked a technique for stress relief that has a time-release formula. It involves setting some kind of unobtrusive alarm -- the vibrate function on your cellphone, for example -- to remind you to take several minutes to do some deep belly breathing and loosen your muscles and limbs. After several months of conditioning yourself to do this at certain times of the day, this kind of reframing of the mind can become automatic.

Another habit to form is being grateful. Clinical experiments show that people who express gratitude in some form every day live more-content lives, and they record lower levels of narcissism and entitlement.

"On the drive home from work, it's a matter of turning the radio off and thinking about how wonderful your job is or, if your job sucks, how wonderful your family is or, if your family's in shambles, how good your health is," says psychology professor Mike McCullough, who studies gratitude at the University of Miami.

He helped conduct one experiment titled "Counting Blessings Versus Burdens," wherein one group kept a journal of their daily hassles for a period of time while another recorded the times they were grateful. The outcome may be obvious, but it is no less instructive: People who concentrated on hassles were generally miserable; the others were pleased and satisfied.

It comes down to perspective and expectations. Do you want empty highways, no lines, a promotion and limousine conveyance to your birthday party? Fine. But don't expect them. Focus on your reliable car, your good health, your job stability or the fact that you're in a position to celebrate a birthday at all.

"When you're feeling this sense of deprivation or entitlement, try to take the longer view," McCullough urges. "Ask yourself, 'Is it really true -- empirically true -- that you are entitled to something?' In most cases, people say no."

Have You Heard This?

In searching for the best music of 2007, I reviewed the picks provided by Billboard, Spin, Rolling Stone, MetaCritic, Variety, CNet, NPR, Amazon, and several national newspapers. The verdict? I didn't like anything on any of their lists. So who's picking this stuff? Cambodian refugees? Gitmo detainees? The homeless? I like to think I know a few things about music; that I know a hip beat when I smell it.

Everyone likes to be unique (read: cool) with their music choices. Recommend good music to someone who's never heard it and they'll suddenly perceive you as a sophisticated person with refined cultural tastes; as if you've opened for them some metaphysical door to the possibility of new experiences. Those in positions of persuasion become mad with influence (because they work for Spin or RS), and start recommending overly-eclectic music (read: garbage), simply to demonstrate that they have access to it. They've heard what you haven't.

"Oooh, it's so metaphorically postmodern-deconstructionist because it doesn't even sound like music."

Yes, and not coincidentally, nobody can stand listening to it.

I had a friend from Berkeley who listened to hip-hop artists like Cunninlynguists and Andre Nickatina. I caught a whiff of her playlist, and after she heard me listening to her bands, the snob locked me out of her musical preferences completely. Later, I overheard some jazz music and asked her about it, and she replied, "Just some random African jazz." Really? The song had no title? The band was anonymous? Jeez.

For the record, your ability to sort through piles of Indie trash does not make you "cool." It is an indicator that different parts of the country are exposed to different things. One of the drawbacks of mass production is that certain geographic areas become demographically stereotyped, resulting in a narrowing of tastes into what becomes known as "mainstream." Sometimes good art gets cut out, purely because of the costs of production, shipping or advertising. More importantly, it is important to recognize that in a greater sense, our perspectives on life are directly connected our respective locations in it.

More to the point, if you want exposure to Cunninlynguists or Andre Nickatina in Santa Fe, Phoenix, Dallas, Houston, Oklahoma City or the Bible Belt, hopefully you have an enlightened friend because you're not going to hear them on the radio. What's worse, even if you have a friend in a culture-rich city like San Francisco or New York, the atmosphere in such places tends to de-generate people into snobs who won't share their sophisticated tastes with you.

They've worked hard to gain access to informed opinions, develop a certain sophistication, and achieve an elusive, elevated social status. Now, entrusted as gatekeepers for the rest of us plebians, what do they do? They lock us out.

It's a dichotomous reverse-evolution: Those who grow rich in social and cultural knowledge, who are immersed in it, tend to denigrate and even despise the individuals that are part of it. In my opinion, the joke is on YOU, music snob, because at the heart of your aggrandized egotism is a cruel and ironic self-loathing that prevents you from getting over your own ego. Personally, I'm glad I can't relate to that.

By the way, I've got something that you MUST hear ...

Consumer-UnFriendly

I was at Wal-Mart today when something became very clear to me: No single location encompasses in a microcosm our consumption-based society in such a distinguished manner as Wal-Mart. Not only is it the consumer center of many a neighborhood and small town, but Wal-Mart has a social dynamic of its own, which becomes apparent if you happen to pay close enough attention. I don't know if this really counts as an epiphany, but if you're interested in what society is evolving into, you don't need to venture much further than your neighborhood Wal-Mart.

You can find both regular and organic fruits and vegetables at Wal-Mart. You can indulge in your choice of light, low-fat or fat-free carcinogenic lard. You can choose whether to purchase the small, regular or family size potato chips, or splurge and get the variety pack. You can find the name-brand Eggo waffles right next to the generic Great Value waffles, and even the packages look similar. Just like the people that work and shop at Wal-Mart, the products come in all varieties, packages, shapes and sizes, but a lot of them are basically the same.

When an individual chooses a product for consumption, it may often seem like a decision made on a whim, but there is actually a complex value-judgment process at work. The constant bombardment of advertisement, overt and filtered through the media, create a sense of need and familiarity. After watching Leggo My Eggo commercials on every morning of every day for 16 years, I now perceive Eggo waffles as the "normal and popular" choice for a standard breakfast staple and select Eggo on a regular basis, even though Great Value waffles, which are located right next to the Eggo waffles in the freezer, are comprised of basically the same ingredients and are offered at a lower price. Great Value doesn't advertise, so I'm not familiar with it and I assume nobody else is, either. The above example also translates well with name-brand and generic fruit juices, candies, potato chips and especially cereal, so don't feel limited to just waffles.

These types of modality and value judgments constantly influence our everyday decisions. Of course, I have one of those weird super self-conscious personalities that is tweaked to be keenly aware of every detail that's going on around me, or maybe I just noticed because she was directly in front of me, but as I was walking toward the front of the store with my Eggos (and a loaf of potato bread, if you're keeping score), another shopper, who happened to be female, happened to (not) subtly visually undress me as she passed by. It wasn't the full-on, Vince Vaughn, Wedding Crashers eye-fuck, but it was close.

Anyway, what I really noticed was that after her corneas caressed by person from head to toe, her glare lingered, for just an additional moment, on my shoes. Then it struck me, she was making one of those perceptual value judgments. Does this mean that my Nikes define me as a person, that somehow the swoosh on the side indicates my refined tastes, discriminating personality and financial success? Definitely not, because anyone can walk into a store and buy a pair of Nikes. But if there weren't such mechanisms in the human brain, advertising wouldn't be such a driving factor in the capitalist marketplace.

And to be honest, aren't we a shoe-obsessed society? As a child, nothing determines social status and value more concretely than outward appearance, starting from the bottom up. Anyone who has ever played pickup basketball on the playgrounds can tell you that a players skill level can easily be guessed by examining what kind of shoes he's wearing: Scrubs wear generic sneakers, and real players wear basketball-specific name brand shoes with some kind of gimmicky spring or transparent air pocket or flubber. This is a universally-accepted fact.

So people make judgments about you based on how you look and what you wear. This is nothing new, and of course, people have caught on. A variety of counterculture styles have developed in specific response to the mass-marketed cookie-cutter style palettes circulated by clothing manufacturers. The irony is that all the counterculture styles eventually become assimilated into the mainstream, allowing people to label you even more specifically, as goth, emo, metrosexual, or gay. So not only can I purchase my value-defining products at Wal-Mart, I can simultaneously receive judgment from others regarding my value, as determined by the products I buy. Thanks, Wal-Mart!

Such is the social dynamic with every publicly peacocked feather in our caps, from our jobs to our cars to our clothes to our kids and the clothes we put on our kids. And with the new generation of eco-friendly products, there's a new dimension of pretentiousness added to the madness, for not only does my solar-powered hybrid Mercedes demonstrate my superfluous disposable income, I'm also doing my part to cut fossil fuel consumption, reduce emissions, and save arctic wildlife; I'm the better-adjusted, more successful, socially-conscious and evolved human being.

And just to add another dimension of irony, isn't Wal-Mart really at the bottom of the food chain when it comes to consuming mass quantities? Members-only warehouses might be considered more exclusive, not to mention luxury department stores like Barney's, where few can really afford to shop. Others might eschew luxury items for more "down to earth" groceries, and choose a store like Trader Joe's out of some diluted notion of social conservation. But the joke is on you, because Joe the organic pot farmer doesn't exist. Trader Joe's is owned by Theo Albrecht, a German billionaire. So next time you think it's worth spending your $12 for the Sundried Tomato and Olive Bruschetta in the glass jar because the money is going to help some hippie organic farmers in a remote village in Oregon, think again. Corporations own everything. Theo's grandchildren thank you.

Perhaps the more important question is, does all of this really mean anything? And I want to warn you, the answer might very well be no, so by all means, don't feel burdened to continue reading any further. But if you really want to think about the point of buying organically-grown fruit instead of regular fruit, or buying eggs from free-range hens instead of caged hens, and you think there's really a metaphoric lesson in doing so, that somehow one group of people might be more evolved than the rest of us because they respect the hens' right to be free, then I might remind you that the eggs you're eating could have grown to be chickens, too.

For the Love of the Game

For the first time in more than 30 years, the Iranian national basketball team will compete in The Olympic Games. Led by center Hamed Ehdadi's 31 points, Iran defeated Lebanon, 74-69, in the gold medal game of the FIBA Asia tournament. This is the first continental title for Iran since the inaugural games in 1960.

Iran's 2008 Summer Olympic team will feature one of the tallest players in the tournament: 7-foot-5 beanpole Jaber Rouzbehani. Rouzbehani can grab the rim flat-footed, dunk on his tip-toes and has a soft shooting touch. The catch? Although he's only 21, Rouzbehani didn't begin playing basketball until he was almost 16. He's still learning the fundamentals of the game.


Rouzbehani has been training with ex-Georgetown center Wesley Wilson and Sacramento Kings forward Shareef Abdur Rahim, but it remains to be seen if he will be the first Iranian in the NBA. Besides his inexperience, there are health concerns: Jaber was born with the same pituitary disorder as Pavel Podkolzine and Yao Ming, which limits his mobility and energy. However, Rouzbehani's potential is undeniable: he averaged 12 points, 8 rebounds and 7 blocks in the FIBA 19-Under World Championship three years ago, before he started training.

Just to give you an idea of the basketball interest in Iran, most of the courts are converted indoor soccer arenas with tile, not wood, on the floor. If nine kids show up to play and there's no tenth player, everyone goes home. To be fair, the professional league in Iran has grown since the Islamic Republic has opened its doors to Western basketball players in an effort to promote interest in the sport (former University of Texas power forward Gabe Mouneke plays for Iranian Super League Champion Saba Battery). While some international teams provide passports for non-nationals to play, as Russia did this year for CSKA's American point guard Jon Holden, the national team is Persians-only, comprised of the best players from Super League teams Saba, Ahan Esfahan and Paykan Tehran.

Now the bad news: Although they dress ten players, only seven actually play, and of those only four are "true" basketball players. They had better sign an endorsement deal with GatorAde. Due to their collective lack of experience in international competition, Iran is likely to go winless throughout the tournament with an outside shot of being blown out of every game. And you can bet they'll enjoy every gut-wrenching second of it.

Iran's Olympic hopes represent what's best about basketball, and the ability of sports to cross boundaries. The team should be a great source of national pride in Iran, where medals of significance are often displayed in historical museums. Perhaps NBA Commissioner David Stern could be convinced to host some 2009 preseason games from Tehran.

The Summer Olympics will begin in July of 2008.

Next month, the Federal Treasury will annouce that the federal budget deficit for fiscal 2007, which ends September 30, will have dropped to a mere $158 billion, give or take a few bucks.

This would mean that the deficit has been reduced by $90 billion since 2006.

Of course, this will be toasted by the White House and Treasury as a great accomplishment.

But there's a nasty secret you may not be are aware of. If you use realistic numbers rather than what has been dubbed by industry experts as " WAAP - Washington Accepted Accounting Principles" - the real federal deficit for the current fiscal year is more than 2-1/2 times the stated deficit. Its actually closer to $335 billion.

So why is this really important? Because there's been so much joyous noise about the budget emanating from Washington, despite the subprime mess and market meltdowns, which, coincidentally, doesn't bode well for future tax collections either. It looks like all of Bush's wealthy-elite buddies that received massive tax cuts for the last several years didn't reinvest the money like we all believed they would. So now my natural contrarianism compels me to bomb the buzz machine: even a first-year finance student would catch these warning indicators.

Instead, so many investors and speculators are fleeing to the supposed safe haven of federal treasury securities lately that perhaps the time has arrived to examine the budget more closely.

If a publicly traded corporation tried keeping books by the aforementioned WAAP rather than by the Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAAP), its auditors would be on the phone to the SEC before you could say "Sarbanes-Oxley."

But since this is the federal government, it operates a unique budget accounting system, regardless of whether the Democratic or Republican party is in the executive office. Minimizing the actual size and impact of the deficit, in effect making it look smaller than it really is, is of great advantage to the those in power, regardless of whether they utilize tax-and-spend or borrow-and-spend policies.

Using numbers from the recent update issued by the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office, we can examine how this works. Keep in mind that this is a simplified version to keep your eyes from glazing over. You can find a more detailed version at the CBO website.

To begin with, Social Security will take in about $78 billion more in payroll and income taxes than it shells out. The Treasury takes that cash, gives the trust fund IOUs for it, and spends it. That $78 billion isn't in the stated deficit.

Next, the Treasury will fork over $108 billion of interest on the trust fund's $2.2 trillion of Treasury holdings - but will give the trust fund IOUs, not cash. They won't count in the deficit either. Add that $186 billion to the stated budget deficit, and it more than doubles, to $344 billion.

The stated deficit, you see, measures how much less cash Uncle Sam takes in than he spends. That's fine for gauging the deficit's impact on the economy, which is what budget experts generally do. But if you're trying to assess Uncle Sam's overall fiscal condition, as the White House portends to do with its annual budget reports, you should count those IOUs in the deficit because they have to be paid someday.

Moving on, we end up with a total deficit of more than $400 billion by undoing another piece of WAAP ledger-demain: the $97 billion increase in Treasury securities held by "other government accounts," such as federal employee pension funds.

Thanks to the magic of Washington math, that doesn't increase the deficit, even though it increases the government's overall debt.

Unfortunately, there's an added layer of bad news: Congressional Budget Office Director Peter Orszag warns that at their current growth rate, Medicare and Medicaid will devour 20 percent of our gross domestic product in 2050 - more than today's entire federal budget.

Don't take next month's budget report at face value!