Saturday, October 14, 2006

Pungent Punditry

ESPN's resident sports satirist Bill Simmons is known for his sarcastic insight and analysis of prominent athletes. After the Dallas Cowboys recent foibles, he offered some thoughts on Drew Bledsoe and T.O. Here are his comments from's Page2:
"Drew Bledsoe has added a degree of difficulty for blowing big games. In the old days, he'd just throw a backbreaking interception at the worst possible time. But because everyone knows that's coming now, he added a fascinating wrinkle: An improbable play to throw us off and make us forget he's about to blow the game (like last week's fourth-and-18 bomb to Glenn), followed by the backbreaking interception that becomes doubly backbreaking because of the preceding events."
While there is truth to Simmon's barb, has Bledsoe been any more disappointing this season than Duante Culpepper, Brett Favre, Steve McNair, Ben Roethlisberger or Kurt Warner? I would consider each of the aforementioned QB's (except Big Ben) reasonably comparable to Bledsoe by age, experience and performance, but only McNair's Ravens (4-1) have a better record than the Cowboys (2-2). Lets face it, Bledsoe has never been consistent -- except that when he needs to throw the ball he holds it, and when he needs to hold it he throws a pick. However, I can't think of anyone more steadfast than Bledsoe's coach, Bill Parcells, and I believe he is still determined to get the best out of Bledsoe this season. That being said, last week's 3rd-and-goal interception by Philadelphia's Lito Sheppard made me consider moving to New Orleans and following the Saints to the Super Bowl.
"If you're broadcasting a game with Terrell Owens involved, it's important to blame him at all times for whatever bad things are happening to his team, even if his QB and secondary are the ones blowing the game. And it's imperative that the production crew shows every possible replay of T.O. yelling at someone on the bench without anyone wondering whether he's yelling because it's so deafening in the stadium that nobody can hear. Keep playing it this way until we can CGI fake footage of him punching teammates. He's clearly the Antichrist."
Okay, T.O. is a distraction, Bledsoe has A.D.D. and the secondary are narcoleptics. Blame is an easy thing to toss around. Blame Jerry Jones for paying Owens $10 million. Blame Parcells for his stoic philosophy. Blame the media for the spotlight that magnifies T.O.'s every action. It seems like simple logic: T.O. scores touchdowns; throw him the ball. Owens may not have been responsible for the Cowboys loss to Philadelphia, but he is in control of the negativity that follows him around. Nobody is manipulating T.O.'s sideline demeanor or post-game comments. Ostensibly, T.O. is unhappy because he's not being given the opportunity to help the team win. When was the last time Owens was happy about anything? For Cowboys fans, it is a hard pill to swallow coming from a guy who has repeatedly proven that he's not a team player.

1 comment:

Joe said...

Owens is a doofus